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ReplyTouch and follow
from admin on 06/25/2017 02:43 PMI fell in love with a girl called Amanda, but don’t have the guts to ask her out. So I went to see a native doctor popularly called “Baba”.
All he demanded from me was 1-month internet data subscription money which I paid and he gave me a ring called ‘Touch and Follow’.
He said, “All I need to do is touch her with this ring and she will follow.” I was excited because that was pretty easy.
The next day, when she was passing, I created a scene just to draw her attention and touched her like it was a mistake. I was expecting her to follow me, but she didn’t, rather she moved on and was pressing her phone.
I was disappointed and went home. On getting home, I checked my phone and saw 9 notifications showing Amanda Paul is now following me on Twitter, Instagram, Keek, Badoo, Viber, sent me a friend request on Facebook, sent me a message on Whatsapp and 2go. I called Baba immediately to inform him and he replied me,
“My son, we’ve upgraded, everything is now digital!
Bye to rural village, welcome to the global village. That was why I did not ask for a cock, the brain of a mosquito, a vulture’s eye and groundnut oil but one month internet data to keep me online.”
Akpos’ GCE Exams questions
from admin on 06/25/2017 02:03 PMGCE MATHEMATICS EXAM PAPER
Time: 2Hrs 30MINS
INSTRUCTIONS: ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS.
ALL QUESTIONS CARRY EQUAL MARKS.
You have dated a girl for 2 years, eventually she drops you for another guy. Calculate the percentage of time wasted. (20 marks)
You bought a phone for your girlfriend and she gave it to another guy. Using trigonometric identities, derive a general formula for this type of love. (20 marks)
(For Boys) You’re dating around 15 girls and every girl is demanding for a Samsung Galaxy and an iPhone 6s (a) Plot a graph of girls against prices of phones. (15marks)
(b) Use your graph to estimate your future poverty (5marks) You are dating other peoples’ sisters yet you don’t want to see any guy with your sister. Calculate the Percentage Error in your Thinking Capacity. (20 marks)
You are a civil servant, your wife is a petty trader, your combined household income is less than 1,000ghc. Your daughter who is awaiting result is using iPhone 6s and Samsung Galaxy both worth 2,000ghc. Calculate the Percentage of your Parental Negligence. (20 marks)
(For girls) You’re a girl and you have dated 20 guys with hard labor, use the law of deminishing Return to calculate the substance that will be left for your husband to enjoy. (20 marks)
You can’t give your wife 50ghc for a pot of soup, but you spend over 100ghc in bars and resturant. Calculate the radius of your ‘stupidity’, take π=3.142(20 marks)
BEST OF GOOD LUCK!
Advice from the invigilator: We are now in a new year. Please drop all your bad character.
Akpos jokes
from admin on 06/25/2017 01:50 PMAkpos went to his lawyer and told him, “My neighbour owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?”
“Do you have any proof he owes you the money?” asked the lawyer.
“Nope,” replied Akpos
“OK, then write him a letter asking him for the $1,000 he owed you,” said the lawyer.
“But it’s only $500 he owed me,” replied Akpo.
“Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your Proof!”, said the lawyer.